I once heard someone say, “challenges are just wonderfully disguised opportunities for growth.” I really do believe it to be true. Just like a strong physical body requires exercises that push it beyond what is comfortable, so a strong character requires challenges that aren’t comfortable. My newest challenge is that an advertiser owes me a lot of money.

The first time someone owed me money

I remember as a teen selling my guitar to an acquaintance from church and after months of reminders and little to no payments I realized that I wasn’t likely to ever receive full payment for the guitar. As a fairly young Christian, I learned 2 lessons. First, that Christians are people just like everyone else who make mistakes and don’t always do what they should. Secondly, that I could “fight for my right” in the flesh or I could let God vindicate me.

At that point in my life the $400 that was owed to me was a huge sum of money and it was honestly very difficult to cast that care on the Lord. I prayed about it for weeks and it became clear that the best course of action was to deliberately SOW the guitar into his life. I realized that I could either have a victim mentality, thinking that something was stolen from me, or I could choose not to have been stolen from and GIVE it, knowing that the Lord sees my heart and would reward that.

Looking back on this lesson, as difficult as it was it was so good for my character development. It helped me take a great step forward in breaking any love of money that was present in my life and ultimately helped me to better learn put my trust in God rather than trying to make things happen myself.

“Give to everyone who asks of you, and whoever takes away what is yours, do not demand it back.” -Luke 6:30

Today’s challenge

Fast forward to a today, and I have a new opportunity for growth. As a result of being a full-time blogger, I receive payments from quite a few different advertisers and ad networks. Up until a few months ago, I was making the mistake of not thoroughly keeping track of my payments. I just assumed that if they owed me money, they would just pay me. As a result of my naivety, one particular advertiser went months without paying and now owes me many times more than what I was owed for the guitar. At first I just contacted them to let them know, assuming it was just a mistake and that they would just pay off the remaining balance. Instead the last couple months have been a lot of me calling and emailing and getting little to no response and even less in payments from them.

As if the large chunk of change that they owe me wasn’t enough, this is money that I pay my bills with. It seems that the stakes are quite a bit higher than they were with the guitar in high school.

At the peak of my frustration I stumbled upon this verse…

“Let your forbearing spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near.” -Philippians 4:5

And just guess what the definition of “forbearing” is. Webster’s defines it as, “a refraining from the enforcement of something (as a debt, right, or obligation) that is due.”

I think God was trying to make a point to me, and as thick as it was laid on, I got it. To add to that, I felt like I was supposed to apologize to the advertiser for being too overbearing. After arguing and coming up with about 100 reasons that they should be apologizing me, rather than me apologizing to them, I obeyed and sent an email apologizing for my behavior.

The next verse in Philippians 4 says…

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.”

While all this was going on, we were saving up every dime we could find so we could come up with the required down payment. I have to admit it was difficult not being anxious knowing that if they would just send what they owed, we would comfortably have our down payment covered. I guess that was part of the test.

So after all that I was convinced that I was going to cast this care on the Lord and allow Him to work on the situation. Right before I left for Florida two weeks ago, I called them to kindly get a update on the payment status and it appears they have gone out of business. It’s all a test.

There have been some good practical business lessons that I have learned from all this that will serve me well in the future, but much more valuable are the lessons that God is teaching me about my character and how to do things His way. I don’t know if I will ever be repaid from the advertiser, but I am confident that obeying God’s Word will always yield the best result – even if I don’t see it right away.

Bob enjoys dark chocolate, paying off debt, giving, Foosball, loose-leaf tea, helping people succeed, learning, anything God created, playing guitar, doing things the "long" way, Philippians, excellence, Chick-Fil-A, and making his wife smile. He started ChristianPF in 2007 and has been having a blast ever since. Find him on Facebook & Twitter.

The following is a guest post from John Schroeder who regularly writes for his blog PassiveFamilyIncome.com.

Are you looking for ways to make your life simpler? If you are like most people, then getting your personal finances under control would go a long way to improving your life. Paying for monthly expenses, managing your career, and saving for retirement are just a few of the financial issues that ordinary people face every single day.

So what are some ways that you can fix your personal finances to make life easier? Get a second job? Cut your expenses? Downsize your home? These are all ways to help out with your finances, but are only short term solutions that require personal sacrifice.

There is another option however that does not require as many personal sacrifices and is often referred to as passive income. While the term passive income means many different things to different people, there is one common theme that is agreed upon. Once a passive income stream is created and begins earning money, there is little to no ongoing effort on your part.

If you are interested in learning how creating passive income can help you simplify your life, please take a look at some reasons listed below.

1. Automate your Personal Finances Using Passive Income

Building recurring income streams can help you automate your personal finances. Since a passive income stream does not require a lot of your time once created, it is a natural way to start automating your finances. If you have a passive income source that brings in money each month, think about ways you can use that income to automatically pay one of your expenses. This is a perfect opportunity to pay off monthly expenses like car payments, cable and phone bills, just to name a few.

Think about how much time savings and satisfaction you will get if you can automate just a few of your monthly expenses? This will make your life so much simpler!

2. Healthy Living

One of the best ways to simplify your life is to live a healthy lifestyle. Getting the appropriate amount of sleep, reducing stress, eating healthy, and frequent exercise are all activities that will make you healthier. As a result of living healthier, you can lower medical costs and avoid unnecessary doctor’s office visits which have a positive impact on your life. In addition, the healthier your are the more productive and efficient you will be.

The direct results of building passive income is one way that you can live a healthier life. The time savings (once an income stream is setup) benefit of focusing on recurring income streams make them well worth the effort. Having additional time in your day will allow you to exercise more often, eat healthier (as you have more time to cook), reduce stress (from the daily grind), and much more!

All of these health benefits as a result of creating passive income will make your life simpler.

3. Pay off Debt

Do you carry a lot of debt? Maybe you have that lingering car payment that you would like to get rid of but just can’t come up with the extra money to pay it off? Creating passive income streams is one way to pay off those recurring expenses every month without any worries. The first step is to identify monthly bills that you would like to automatically eliminate from your budget.

Once you have identified a monthly expense you would like to pay off, go out and build a passive income stream that brings in a monthly amount that can cover your expense. Don’t think this is possible? I can tell you first hand that this is how my family pays for our monthly car payment. A portion of our recurring monthly passive income covers our vehicle expenses every month!

4. Build Your Savings

Having adequate savings is important for any family. Establishing multiple income streams provides an opportunity to build your family nest egg. In the event of a family emergency, job loss, or other unexpected expense – a solid savings can really ease the pain of your hardship.

So how can you build your family savings? You guessed it – by creating passive income streams! Think of how much easier your everyday life would be if you had an automated process to consistently build your savings over time without worrying about it.

5. Start Donating Money

Many times in life I have found that giving can be much more rewarding than receiving. Are there local charities that you want to donate to but just can’t scrounge the extra money? Using passive income to donate money is a great way to give back to others who may be less fortunate or down on their luck.

Donating to others is a very rewarding activity. When you see others struggling to eat or find shelter everyday, it can really put a new perspective on your life. If you are looking to step back from the daily hustle and bustle, then donating to others can help you to simplify your life!

It takes time and work

Creating passive income is no get rich quick scheme. While it can really help you simplify your life by helping your personal finances, it still takes time and work to establish solid income streams.  If managed properly, the income generated from these types of sources are well worth the effort.

Note from Bob: The hardest thing about building a passive income stream is getting started. For me I have found that writing for Hubpages and other similar sites is one of the easiest ways to get the ball rolling. Lots of people like to rent out real estate (for a positive cashflow) or receive royalty payments from writing books, songs, or selling photography.

What have you done to start creating passive income?

This is an article is written by Ralph E. Plaskett. Ralph is known as the Peculiar Marketing Expert for peculiar people, the go-to resource for action-oriented information where readers can take the words right off the page and put them to work immediately! His effective strategies develop, grow, and expand businesses for Christians. Find out more at PushingKingdomBusiness.com.

Time is Currency for the True Entrepreneur

You’ve heard it before, time is money. This is absolutely true for entrepreneurs. The typical employee gets paid regardless of what happens or what they do (or don’t do). I often joke with my friends that being a meteorologist is the only job in the world where they could be wrong 98% of the time and still keep a job. True entrepreneurs understand that the time they put into a task or project is essential to its success, and ultimately their success. As such, successful entrepreneurs are cautious of the time that they offer.

It is a glorious thing to know that God isn’t respective of a person. What He will do for one, He will do for another. This is most evident with the time that He has given each of us. We all have the same 24 hours a day to accomplish our goals, aspirations, and dreams. Whether you are rich, poor, successful, unsuccessful, black, white, multilingual, or can only speak one language, God has given each of us access to the same amount of time per day. So how do we best utilize the time given to us with the millions of things we have going on each day? You may be inclined to think time management and you are right, but true entrepreneurs must use aggressive strategies of time management to accomplish more.

Here are a few strategies for aggressive time management for entrepreneurs:

Time Blocks

Time management in and of itself is and under-used discipline. I truly believe that many people have more fear of success than they do of failure (or maybe failure once they succeed). Scheduling time blocks throughout your day is an effective way of managing the time that God has given you. When properly followed, time blocks provide an ease to accomplish goals or tasks, meet with customers/clients/patients, study the Word of God, spend time with family and friends, and even drive from meetings to the office, to home all within your allotted time. Not only would you be managing your time well, but you will also get more done. It may seem radical and even a little insane to schedule time with the family, but as entrepreneurs (and most likely the breadwinners) there are more things to get done than there is time. Successful time management will allow you to get more done and spend more time with the family.

One Productive Thing a Day

Regardless of what goes on during the day, make a commitment to do at least one productive thing each and every single day (yes, even on the weekends). The term ‘productive’ in this case means an action that will result in income immediately or in the future. This could be an email to your list of prospective clients to join a teleseminar, responding to a workshop request, or writing your next article. So, before you call it a night, make a commitment to do at least one productive thing.

Disconnect

It is difficult to break away in a world that has become so interconnected because of technology. There are PDAs, iPhones, netbooks, eateries with free Internet, email, social
networking updates and everything in between that keeps most people constantly connected to everything. How can anyone get anything accomplished with these constant distractions? The only solution is to disconnect from it all. Turn it off, don’t login, or unplug it from the wall. Do what you must to remove the distractions. This may include locking the door and not answering the phone during periods where you have allotted your time to something else. Remember, time is currency; it’s the type of currency that you can’t get back once it’s gone.

Anti-Multi-Tasking

There are many people who pride themselves on being able to “focus” on many things at the same time; working on 10 different things simultaneously. The reality is they may not be focusing on anything. To focus is to actually give your full attention to something and in doing so you are able to provide a complete response to that thing. Multi-tasking has the ability to spread someone so thin that they cannot provide attention (or enough of it) to a single task. When you focus on a single task, you can put your full brain power to completing it. The result is a well thought-out, defined product or solution completed in a faster time than if you did while multi-tasking. Let the computers do the multi-tasking. If you are a true entrepreneur, focus on a single task or project at a time.

Don’t be a “Yes” Man/Woman

When it comes to time management, there are things called “time vampires”. These are people that will suck up all your time with unscheduled, useless, unproductive chatter.
You have to be cautious of these things. Saying “yes” to every meeting, every lunch request, or every phone call can cause these time vampires to suck up your entire day. It is ok to say “no”. In fact, when you say no and instruct them as to how they can schedule a meeting with you (with an agenda) in your office (don’t have to waste time if they are late) then they tend to respect you and your time.

Use that extra hour

Lastly, we just gained an extra hour of time during the Fall. How will you use it? Will you sleep in or just wake up your normal time to get in an extra hour of productivity?

Job loss.  A lay off.  Fraud. Getting fired. Robbery.  Legal Issues. Credit card debt.  In a moment, any of these instantaneous events can shatter your financial plan.  At times these events do not come alone, but they come in groups – event after event.  Unfortunately, life is filled with disappointment, frustration, and surprise.  So what do you do when you get the pink slip?  How do you wade through a series of financial failures?

“10% is what happens and 90% is how you react.”

Remember this quote during a family financial melt down.  Nerves wear thin and perspective is tainted. If couples do not proceed with caution, there might be even more losses (in addition to financial losses) on the way.

12 Action Items For Couples During A Financial Crisis

1. Talk openly, communicate, and set goals

   Financial difficulty brings a slew of questions: What are we going to do now?  How will we pay the bills?  Should we consider bankruptcy? What if “x” happens? While all these questions are buzzing around, talk with your spouse and communicate.  Decide on a direction you both support and start looking forward.  Commit to moving through the process together, not alone.

2. Prioritize together by asking “What is most important to you?”

   What things do you value the most?  What people do you need around you?  If I lost “x”, things would be even worse.  Write the items in a list. For example, food, household, transport …  Take your very first dollar and apply it to #1 on your list.  Go in order no matter how loudly someone else says they need to get paid.  If you are not budgeting you need to start.  Here are some free budget worksheets to help.  In case you find it helpful, here is a sneak peak into how my family budgets.

3. Switch to survival mode

   Bring in the spending tsar who reduces spending to absolute necessities.  I suggest you write your needs list and then cut out half the stuff.  This is the time to get the most mileage out of every single dollar. While your life might feel completely out of control this is still one area you can control.  Spend carefully and intentionally. This might be a good time to sell your stuff on ebay.

4. Acknowledge emotions

   You will experience a bunch of emotions from bitterness to guilt to frustration.  The emotions will impact your relationship with your spouse, your children, your extended family, your friends, and your faith.  Did I miss anything?  You may be tempted to lash out to find a place to release your frustration.  When you talk about your emotions, use phrases like, “I feel …” This makes others less defensive.

5. Avoid blame

   At this point, once things are damaged, it is not the time to figure out who is to blame.  This will only serve to push your spouse away. Your frayed nerves will do more damage than good if you let them run rampant. There will be a time for reflection and debriefing, but in the midst of the chaos you will do more harm than good if you start to play the blame game.

6. Accept help

   Accepting help is difficult because of one reason – pride.  Perhaps you will have a new favorite Bible verse “It is better to give than receive.”  God may once again put you in the position of the giver, but for now this might just be your time to receive.  Standing together is a function of community, and in this case standing alone is a sign of selfishness.

7. Minimize pressure

   If you allow it financial concern can completely consume you.  Schedule time in your day to focus your energy on other chores or tasks. Removing yourself from the worry and strain will help remove the burden.

8. Turn to your faith

   When the world seems to be falling apart you will need a Rock upon which to stand.  Continue or begin a habit of daily devotionals and seek the will and presence of God. (Check out these encouraging bible verses)

9. Count your blessings

   Yes, count your blessings.  Things may be bad, or awful, or even horrible.  But are there probably still many blessings in your life?  Focusing solely on the problems and your lack of stuff will only cause depression.  Remember that around every corner there is a blessing, if you are looking for it.

10. Don’t be afraid to dream

    If you have just lost a job, this is a great chance to dream. What am I passionate about doing? What have I always wanted to try?  This crisis might simply be a hidden opportunity.  Look ahead and have some direction.  The time may be right for turning a hobby into a business or even trying a new way to make money.  Just be sure to ask the right questions to reduce risk.

11. Journal

    These circumstances might just be the greatest blessing in your life (in a few years).  Journaling helps learn all the important lessons that the school of life is trying to teach.  If hindsight is 20/20, don’t you want to have a chronicle that details exactly what was going on and exactly how the problem was resolved?

12. Stay in control

    You may be tempted to throw up your hands and say “I don’t care anymore.”  Creditors want to drive you to this state where you just give them what they want to get you off their back.  Remember, you don’t need to answer the phone. Whatever you do make sure you break the debt cycle by refusing to take on more debt.  Digging deeper is not your solution.  Don’t be a good person who make bad money choices.

While a series of financial tragedies can be extremely difficult, your responses during this time will determine a large portion of the situation’s solution.

Photo by Valeriana Solaris.

What would/have you done in the midst of financial devastation?

Craig is a missionary who has spent over ten years working in various forms of Christian ministry. Currently, Craig lives with his family in Papua New Guinea. Relying on his ministry experience and background in Biblical Studies he writes daily personal finance articles from a Christian perspective. You can visit his site at www.MoneyHelpForChristians.com, on Twitter, or you can sign up to receive free daily email updates for his site.

I have always had a feeling that contentment was a critical component of having joy in life. As I have been learning this lesson on a deeper level, I have written about it (here and here). But lately I have been seeing a new angle on a few verses in Philippians 4.

¹¹Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am.

¹²I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need.

Philippians 4:11-12 (NASB)

I added a little emphasis to the parts of verses above that I have been pondering. What exactly was Paul talking about when he said he knew how to get along with humble means and prosperity?

I am sure that for him it was a bit of a challenging process to be content living in humble means. He was basically on the fast-track to become a super-Pharisee -  from what I understand they were a very materialistic bunch. Then Jesus steps in and his life is forever changed. And a few years later we see him in prison writing that we should “rejoice in the Lord always” and be content in every circumstance.

Breaking the attachment to things

The first way I look at the “know how” that Paul was referring to is more of an internal lesson that needs to be learned. It’s that things are just things. They come, they go. They don’t determine your value or worth and you can’t take them with you when you die. Paul had some of the most tremendous ups and downs. One minute he was shackled hand and foot in prison and the next he was staying in the King’s palace. He seemed to live the full spectrum of having a lot and having a little.

But, his outlook proves that he had broken his attachment to things. He didn’t consider his life a failure and quit when he frequently found himself in prison. And on the other hand, he didn’t allow more prosperous times to be his pinnacle achievement that he would hang his hat on. He had a goal to fulfill what God had called him to and the things were just peripheral, so as they came and went he learned not to care too much. He was successfully living Matthew 6:33.

Practically living with a little or a lot

In addition to the internal lesson, I am starting to suspect that there is a practical element to what he is saying as well. Could it be that Paul is also referring to the resourcefulness required when times are tight? On a practical level managing money is a lot different when you have a lot of it, than when you have a little. If Warren Buffett spent 2 hours of his work-day cutting grocery coupons to save $10 at the grocery store, it would be a pretty foolish use of his time. Those same 2 hours could probably be used to do what he does so well and make many thousands of dollars. On the other hand, if you are only making $100 a week, it might be worth spending 2 hours cutting coupons to save $10.

My wife and I both had the painful experience of living well (and spending more money than we had) and then having to be honest with ourselves by cutting our standard of living to what it really should be. It is not fun at all, but trying to live like you are “in prosperity” when you are in a season of “humble means” is a path for destruction. What I have been getting out of Phil 4:12 is that if I continue to try to live like I am rich, when I am not, then I am only deceiving myself. For me, moving from having an abundance back down to humble means was a test from God. I think he wanted to see if I would still love Him if I didn’t have a lot of stuff. So I had to make many cuts to my lifestyle. I had to go without things I had previously taken for granted. And I had to start praying and trusting God for things that were previously commonplace.

Like I said, it was a painful process. But all along I knew that it was just a season and that God had more for me. And as a result of those lessons we have gone from debt-ridden over spenders to a couple who consistently spends less than they earn, has no consumer debt, and who was able to save a down payment for their new house.

One last thing

Just to clarify, I don’t believe that contentment means settling for mediocrity. But rather it is being satisfied at whatever place in life God has us at, while trusting that He does have our interest at heart and that he does want to bless us and see us succeed. So, I am trying to learn these lessons that Paul did and be content in my present circumstances, while trusting that God is taking me from Glory to Glory.

Bob enjoys dark chocolate, paying off debt, giving, Foosball, loose-leaf tea, helping people succeed, learning, anything God created, playing guitar, doing things the "long" way, Philippians, excellence, Chick-Fil-A, and making his wife smile. He started ChristianPF in 2007 and has been having a blast ever since. Find him on Facebook & Twitter.

Sometimes spending a little money today can save a lot of money tomorrow.  Common sayings support this notion: a stitch in time saves nine and don’t be penny smart and pound foolish.  A predictable characteristic of the poor is that decisions are made for today without any regard for tomorrow.  However, there a few fall chores that if completed today will save a lot of trouble and money tomorrow.  By completing these first two tasks you maintain and improve the value of items in which you have already invested a significant amount.  The third item is an opportunity to avoid a potentially dangerous credit trap – Christmas.

Save Money By Completing These Essential Jobs

Winterize the Car

Father Winter is knocking on the door.  You have held him back for long enough, but he is anxious once again to invade your life.  It is time, once again, to winterize your car.

• Be sure your wiper fluid has winter fluid that will not freeze over the winter.
• Check and be prepared to change your tires to more winter friendly tires.
• Put an emergency winter kit in your trunk.  Essential items include a blanket, flashlight, first aid kit, candles, and matches.  You might even want to include some instant toe warmers.
• If you have teenage kids you might consider getting a cheap prepaid phone for their winter outings.
• If you haven’t been to the mechanic for a while you should have a mechanic look over your vehicle so that it does not get stalled on a cold winter night.
• Have your battery checked.  Winters are hard on batteries so you want to be sure you have a good battery.

House Maintenance and Preparation

During the winter you want your house to be two things – warm and cozy.  The following suggestions make that possible.

• Check the position of your trees/tree branches.  If branches hang over your home, the cold weather and the weight of snow could cause them to break.  Fall is a perfect time to remove those branches.  Besides, the branch can create a shade over your house which will encourage mildew growth and even require more energy to heat your house.
• Check your gutters.  Clogged gutters can force water to leak around your house.  When the snow melts (and I promise it will eventually) you want it to go down the proper downspout.
• Remove air-conditioning window units and replace the opening with a well insulated widow.
• Weatherproof doors, windows, and vents.  If you have large gaps around your doors purchase a door strip.  A door sweep will cover gaps between the floor and the door.  For windows you may want to add some caulking.
• Has your heater recently been serviced?  If not, make the call.
• Cover window wells. Your local hardware store will sell plastic covers for your window well.  This will keep the snow from piling up by your window.  This is energy efficient and will also prevent snow from melting and leaking into the window.
• Check outside pipes – make sure that any pipes that are exposed to cold temperatures are insulated.
• Have your pool company prepare your pool for winter.
• Prepare for a winter storm – Flashlight, candles and matches, personal supplies, extra blankets, water (at least a three day supply), non-perishable food, pet supplies, and games to entertain the kids.

Put Christmas on Your Radar

You probably don’t want to think about Christmas yet.  Halloween is coming.  Thanksgiving is looming.  Perhaps you want to get through those holidays before you even entertain the idea of Christmas.  Still, you should start planning today for a Debt-free Christmas.  There are two key advantages to start your Christmas planning early.

Extra Time to Save For a Debt-Free Christmas

There is no away around this.  The more time you have, the more money you can save.  If you habitually enjoy Santa coming in December and the creditors in January, then this is the time to decide to change your Christmas tradition.  How much did you spend on Christmas last year? Take that number and divide it by 2.  That is how much you need to save in November and December to pull off a debt free Christmas.  If the amount is too much you will need to adjust your Christmas spending expectations or find a way to save more money.

Extra Time to Buy Christmas Presents

Here is the magical Christmas formula:

TIME + CREATIVITY = The best possible Christmas present for the lowest possible price

The more time you have to shop and the more time you have to be creative, the more likely you are to get more for less.

My wife and I bought our first Christmas present in July.  We had decided to get some items for my brother and were walking around an outlet mall that was having a 50% off ticketed price of their clearance items.  For $45 we were able to get over $200 worth of gifts.  This would not have been possible if we did not put the early Christmas shopping idea on our radar.  We were also in the right place at the right time.

Just because you decide to spend less for Christmas doesn’t mean anyone needs to get less.  Use the time and creativity head start to get some fantastic gifts at a phenomenal price.

Frugal people will spend money in the short term in order to save in the long term.  Cheap people, however, will not spend money today - even if that means costing more tomorrow.  For example, a frugal person will have her vehicle inspected when it starts making strange noises.  A cheap person will wait until the car completely shuts down (typically resulting in a higher mechanical bill).  Don’t be cheap.  Choose to be frugal by completing some of these necessary tasks.

Photo by dlco4.

Any other fall tasks you want to suggest?

Craig is a missionary who has spent over ten years working in various forms of Christian ministry. Currently, Craig lives with his family in Papua New Guinea. Relying on his ministry experience and background in Biblical Studies he writes daily personal finance articles from a Christian perspective. You can visit his site at www.MoneyHelpForChristians.com, on Twitter, or you can sign up to receive free daily email updates for his site.

This article was written by  Branden who regularly writes for his blog FaithFitnessFinance.com.

Finding the freedom to spend

When it comes to being frugal, paying off debt, saving for retirement, and actively pursuing long-term financial goals, I am a zealot. You see, I’m a big picture kind of guy. I have a natural propensity to create savings accounts for my savings accounts. My wife would tell you that I am the definition of frugal. I understand very well that I don’t need the video game I want and am able to see how not purchasing something today will enable me to purchase so much more later.

The problem, however, is that, for me, later never actually seems to come. I have been so focused on achieving our long term financial goals for so long that it is often difficult for me to live a little bit in the here and now. After all, isn’t the point of saving and working toward financial independence to allow you to buy the things you really want without the burden or guilt of debt?

When financial focus goes too far

In my household, this has recently reached a boiling point. I am definitely the budgeter in our marriage; my wife wants nothing to do with it. In fact, I think it is fun to play with spreadsheets, manipulate numbers, and run cash flow scenarios. Yep, I’m a financial geek.

Why is this such a problem? Well, to be blunt, my wife is normal and likes doing things. This is not to be read that she is an overspender. She doesn’t care how many pairs of shoes she has, doesn’t want to spend a lot of money on fancy clothing, and is more than happy to eat at home almost every night of every week.

Sure, I also like doing things, but I have noticed that, for me, there is a direct correlation between the cost of the activity and the amount of fun I have. The more the activity costs, the less enjoyment I typically receive. I blame this on the fact that the more money we spend on fun today, the less we have to pay off debt and spend on fun later.

Looking for a solution

Needless to say, my wife and I just weren’t seeing eye to eye on the situation. I thought that budgeting $15 per month on dining out was more than enough; she wanted to go to a restaurant that had waiters. I figured our subscription to Netflix provided more entertainment than we could ever need; she wanted to see a few movies a year before they came out on DVD. To anyone else, my wife’s requests would have been common sense.

If you’re familiar with Dave Ramsey, he mentions that there are typically two types of people in a marriage: the nerd and the free spirit. I’m guessing you won’t have any trouble determining what role my wife and I play here. No matter which person you might be in your relationship, it is essential that you find a way to work together to achieve financial unity for a happy and successful marriage.

Setting up a real budget

When all of this came to a head and I actually realized what I was doing to my wife (yes, I can be a little dense), I knew it was time to change something. In fact, I knew that, if something didn’t change, our marriage was going to encounter some really rough times in the very near future.

So, I got my wife to sit down with me and talk about budgeting for fun. It wasn’t an easy thing for either of us. Remember, she wants nothing to do with budgeting, and I want nothing to do with spending. But, we managed our way through it and have started allocating regular sums of money just for the purpose of spending.

The freedom to spend

In the very short time since we set up this new system, things have changed a lot. My wife no longer has to worry about my reaction to her spending a couple dollars on a magazine and I don’t have to worry about whether or not she is buying something we didn’t plan for. The feeling is truly one of freedom. My frugal instincts have served us well throughout the last year of financial difficulty, but we are now at a place where such rigidity is no longer necessary.

The reality is that I’m still not over my obsessive money habits. I still think it’s hard to spend money, even money we have specifically set aside to spend, but I’m getting better at it. I need to more often remind myself of the parable of the rich man told in Luke 12 and understand that hoarding my possessions brings neither life nor success. If you’re like me and have a really difficult time spending money, try something like this. I promise you won’t regret it.

Note from Bob: I love how Branden and his wife worked to find a solution to their problem. We have had similar situations that by working out seemingly small details, we were able to maintain martial harmony. I get just as encouraged seeing people like Branden working through his extreme frugality as I do spendaholics working through their excessive spending. We all have areas to improve on!

Young married couples are often looking for the ideal time to have children.  They want to be responsible and so they ask the question, “Can we afford to have kids yet?”  Essentially, they want to know if their income can cover the cost of raising children.

While the answer needs to be catered to your specific life situation, I thought I would share a little about my family expenses with the hope that it will help you to make a good decision.

“Can I Afford to Have Kids?”

• Conventional Wisdom claims, “It’s gonna cost you $10,000 per year per child”.
• My Bank Account responds, “Not as long as I’m around”.
• The Biological Clock interjects, “I’m not getting any younger”.
• Mentors advise, “Get your graduate work done first”.
• Contemporary Culture insists, “If you want to have a kid you better have the money to take care of that little baby”.

The end result is either there is never a good time, or now is as good a time as any.

Five years after my wife and I were married we started one of the most incredible and rewarding journeys of our lives – parenthood.  After experiencing life as a dad I think the better question might be, “Can you afford not to have kids?”

How much extra does my family spend on kids?

I decided to sit down and calculate how much my kids cost annually.  Remember, these numbers will vary greatly from person to person.  My home is full of young little humans.  My three children range from 4 years to 3 months.  Currently we have two kids in diapers (but are hoping our son will get the potty thing soon).  In our particular situation we have no kids in school so that significantly minimizes our costs.  Finally, we have a reputation for being frugal folks!

What is the annual cost of raising children?

The following is an estimation (based on our budget) on what we spend annually for all three of our children:

• Diapers = $350 * we use cloth diapers during the day and disposables at night and during trips away from home.  If you use disposables, you would probably want to budget around $650 per year.
• Food = $1,200 * four year old, two year old, and nursing baby
• Clothing = $100 * we only buy used clothing and reuse clothes on younger siblings
• College Saving = $1,800
• Travel = $1,000
• Medical = $750
• Misc = $1,200

I estimate that for our three kids we spend an additional $6,300 per year.  For our family, that averages about $2,100 per child per year, or $175 per child per month.

Ten ideas to help minimize the cost of raising children:

1. If you plan to have one of the parents stay home, adjust to one income now. This will allow you to practice living on one income.  It will also give you ample time to pay off your debts or save for an emergency fund.
2. If you need to borrow money (i.e. for a home) then ask the bank to make the calculations on only one income. This way you will be prepared to make the necessary adjustments when junior comes along.
3. The financial costs of children increase over time, but presumably so will your salary.  The cost of raising children who stay in the home is obviously significantly less then a teenager who is involved in lots of extra curricular events.  Babies who nurse consume less than growing teenagers.
4. If you are frugal and financially conscientious then you will find a way to make it work just like everything else. Reasonable financial concerns should not stop you from having children if you think the time is right.  However, if you are really struggling to make it financially without children, I highly recommend you meeting a financial mentor who can help address some of the financial issues before adding children to the situation.
5. Make the intangibles of life your focus and the tangibles of life will fall into place. What you have to offer your kids should be a lot more than money.  Time and love are currencies that will mean more to your kids than anything else.
6. Don’t kiss your brain goodbye. Those cuddly little babies do amazing things to the spending habits of otherwise rational adults.  Don’t equate your level of love with the amount you are willing to pay to buy things for your children.  Loving them and spending money on them is completely different.
7. Remember that others love babies too.  Churches, friends, and workmates love having baby showers. Depending on your ‘friendship base’ you might just be surprised the number of things you are given.  As a general rule, do not buy any baby items until after the shower.
8. Before the baby is born do some reading about college savings, because any little contributions you make today will have a huge impact tomorrow.
9. When you have children if you have not already purchased life insurance, this is a great time to consider the benefits for your family.
10. Prepare for a change in spending habits. In order to make ends meet, you may need to cut some of your spending.  While young married couples might have extravagant spending habits, young parents are typically required to be quite frugal.
11. BONUS #11 — Pray you don’t have triplets!

Photo by ^riza^.

How much does it cost you to support your kids?  What ideas do you have for raising kids on a smaller income?

Craig is a missionary who has spent over ten years working in various forms of Christian ministry. Currently, Craig lives with his family in Papua New Guinea. Relying on his ministry experience and background in Biblical Studies he writes daily personal finance articles from a Christian perspective. You can visit his site at www.MoneyHelpForChristians.com, on Twitter, or you can sign up to receive free daily email updates for his site.

If you are anything like me, you like to find ways to save time and simplify your life. Since I spend hours with Gmail each day, it is in my best interest to be as efficient as possible with it. While I am always looking to improve my time management, I haven’t mastered the GTD system and would call myself a huge work-in-progress. I am in no way a Gmail master, but these are 5 simple things I have implemented that help save me time, each day when using Gmail.

So, if you are a pro-Gmail user, just skip this one, because you probably know these already. If you are like most Gmail users, who just want to make things a little bit quicker and easier, keep on reading.

1. Add a “Waiting for a Response” Label

I often send out emails that it is important that I get a response back, but after a couple days go by I will have forgotten about it. The best way I have found to combat this was to create a specific label that I titled “0 – Waiting for a Response”. After I send off an email and I need to follow up until I get a response, I just add this tag to it. I click on the label each day to see what responses are still outstanding. I have to say that the system has been working quite well so far.

Oh, and you might be wondering why the label title starts with a “0″ and the answer is that I want it to show up at the top of my list of labels. Putting a number in front of it puts it at the top of the alphabetical list.

2. Eliminate forgotten attachments

If you pop open your Gmail account and click “Settings”, then “Labs” you will find a bunch of fun little features you can turn on. One of these is a “Forgotten Attachment Detector” which will do just what the name suggests. When you hit send on an email that you mentioned attaching something, it will check to see if you did indeed attach a file. If not, it will pop up a little window to verify that you want to continue sending anyway.

I guess it hasn’t saved me that much time, but it has helped me save face many a times.

3. Using “Quick Links”

This is another feature that needs to be activated under the “Labs” tab. Once you do it will then add a box to the left column that gives you 1-click access to any bookmarkable URL in Gmail. You can use it for saving frequent searches, important individual messages, and more.

I find it particularly useful for quick access to emails that I regularly come back to and for saving templates and keeping them within quick reach.

4. Keyboard Shortcuts

A while back Gmail gave away free keyboard stickers to help you master the keyboard functions. I must say that being able to use the keyboard to navigate through Gmail saves quite a bit of time over using the mouse. You should give it a try. Start with these three…

1. Use “E” or “Y” to archive the email you are currently viewing
2. Press “Tab” then “Enter” to send an email that you just finished
3. Or press “C’ from the homepage to compose a new message

For a whole bunch more shortcuts you can either press “Shift” + “?” in your Gmail inbox or you can read this article.

5. Using filters

Filters are a wonderful way to save time. If you have emails that regularly come in that you want to save, but don’t need to see a filter is the perfect solution. On the right hand side of the top search box, there is a link that says “Create a Filter” this will get you started. You can set up filters to bypass the inbox, to automatically apply labels, to get forwarded to another email address, and more.

While filters greatly minimize the number of emails I have to process each day, I suggest unsubscribing to as many emails that you don’t need to see as possible. Pretty much every email subscription has an unsubscribe link at the bottom of it.

What about you? Do you have any great Gmail hacks? I would love to hear about them!

Bob enjoys dark chocolate, paying off debt, giving, Foosball, loose-leaf tea, helping people succeed, learning, anything God created, playing guitar, doing things the "long" way, Philippians, excellence, Chick-Fil-A, and making his wife smile. He started ChristianPF in 2007 and has been having a blast ever since. Find him on Facebook & Twitter.

I was hanging out with some of my family this weekend and an interesting & frustrating discussion came up about the appropriateness of asking for a discount from fellow Christians.

The discussion started because of this story:

A hard-working painter (Joe) we all knew from church went over to give an estimate to another church-member (Mike). Joe goes in looks at all of Mike’s rooms, and measures, calculates, etc – whatever needs to be done to give an estimate. Joe then gives Mike his estimate of what he thinks it will cost to do the job. Mike then asks, “What’s my ‘Brother Discount’?” as if to suggest that he should get an even cheaper price than what Joe just told him – because he is a fellow Christian.

When I heard this story I immediately had a couple thoughts…

• How does Mike know that Joe didn’t already discount the price?
• If Mike can’t afford to pay what Joe is charging, I think Joe probably would have preferred that he (A) kindly explain that or (B) just not do business with him, rather than be manipulated into offering a lower price.

The balance

As I am writing this, I am thinking about the difficulty of maintaining a proper balance with this. Everyone needs to get paid, and everyone wants a deal. I like getting a deal as much as the next guy, but I also like blessing those who help me. So, if at all possible, I would rather give Joe MORE than what he was charging me, rather than trying to get him to discount the price. I know that isn’t always possible, but I think if we all did this the world would be a better place.

Receiving vs. Taking

You know, I think it comes down to the difference between receiving and taking. I am convinced that God’s blessings can’t be gotten by us TAKING them by our own initiative, but rather they should be RECEIVED when they appear.

John answered and said, “A man can receive nothing unless it has been given him from heaven.” John 3:27

A gift can only be received if it is given. If it is taken, then it really isn’t a gift in the first place. For example, if a child takes a $20 bill out of his father’s wallet, it is a much different thing than if the father gave the child a $20 gift – or even the same $20 bill for that matter. Because the child took the $20, he also stole his father’s ability to give it to him and lost the opportunity for it to be received.

Also, from my experience it is a lot more fun to be given something, rather than taking advantage of someone to get it.

Back to discounts

So as I think about all this, I don’t think I would have asked Joe for a “deserved” discount that Mike did. And I am realizing that what irks me about what Mike did was that he expected it, I think if he had asked if there was a discount for church members, I would feel a little better about it.

Thinking about myself, I didn’t have any problem negotiating prices with our home builders – for some reason that seems different – or am I being hypocritical? Is it the difference between small business and big business? Or fellow Christians and everyone else? Or is it just the fact that Mike seemed to think that he deserved something extra?

What do you think?

I feel like this has been a mish-mash of wandering thoughts, but I’d like to hear your wandering thoughts! Can you relate with Joe (or Mike)? Is it just a matter of an entitlement mentality versus kindly asking?

Bob enjoys dark chocolate, paying off debt, giving, Foosball, loose-leaf tea, helping people succeed, learning, anything God created, playing guitar, doing things the "long" way, Philippians, excellence, Chick-Fil-A, and making his wife smile. He started ChristianPF in 2007 and has been having a blast ever since. Find him on Facebook & Twitter.